Readers Asked – Psychiatrist Replies

They say, “It’s better late than never.” We have been searching for replies to the following really tricky questions that our readers had asked, since the last several months. But many of the experts didn’t reply. Finally, the most reliable Eminent Psychiatrist Dr. Devendra Save replied to the questions. It’s his opinion and perspective as an expert. So , here’s what the Readers Asked – Psychiatrist Replies:

Readers Asked – Psychiatrist Replies

I am a lecturer in a college. I used to work in another college as a temporary lecturer where the students were the rowdy type. While I was teaching in one class, the college’s security brigade (consisting of some male lecturers) came to the class and strongly insisted that a boy touch the feet of a girl for teasing her, in front of the other students. The boy took some time to react and finally touched her thigh. My first question is that did the security brigade do the right thing? Secondly, wouldn’t the boy nurse a grudge against the girl for the turn of events? Fourthly, he was told to touch her feet. But, he touched her thigh near her private part. How right is this behavior? I am concerned because where I am working now, there have been similar incidents but nobody has bothered to help the girls. What can I do to help these girls? – Rama.

Dear Rama,

This would have been a challenging experience for you. Whether the security brigade did the right thing or not is not in our control and we couldn’t have done anything about it. Similarly, the boy have had a grudge but we do not know of his true feelings. What is there in our control is our feelings and thoughts. I would like to encourage you to reflect and center within – what kind of thoughts did you get when this experience took place? What kind of emotions did you feel? Remember, all our emotions are valid and it’s always helpful to acknowledge how we feel about a particular situation. The boy’s behavior is certainly wrong but again we do not know whether that was on purpose or by accident. However, if you feel these type of incidents have taken place before and make you feel uncomfortable in any way, please share it with a trusted authority of your college.

Further with the same person, you can discuss if college can hold educative and awareness workshops for both boys and girls about bad touch and good touch. It will be helpful for everyone to know how to classify these behaviors and what actions to take when one experiences them.

I am a teenager. My mother is a control freak. She gets hysterical and suicidal if we do not follow her instructIons. What should I do? – Himani.

Dear Himani,

It must be very difficult for you to experience the impact of this. I would encourage you to help your mother in seeking counseling. Further, to understand what you can do as a caregiver, you could also take a few sessions and learn ways to deal with such situations. Don’t forget to take care of your own mental health as well.