There are times in our lives, when we get angry with someone close to us. There is a period of resentment, but eventually you calm down and think properly. Then you realize that hating someone was not right on your part. That is the time when you decide to forgive that someone and move on with your lives. 3 girls came forward to share their experiences and explained how forgiving helped them lead a better life.
A boy liked Mumbai’s 22 year old Pranjali Shrotri when they went to study the same course in Pune. When he proposed, she declined, but eventually she fell in love with him or so she thought. He said that he was a Brahmin from Delhi. After completing the course, when Pranjali returned to Mumbai, she told her Mom about it. Her Mom told her that she was too young to get involved in these things. She also told her that they might find some other boy from their own caste for her to get married to. Since Pranjali’s parents have had an inter-caste marriage, Pranjali did not want to give up on the relationship.
When her father was told about it, he went about finding more about the boy. It turned out that the boy belonged to the Muslim community. During an immediate trip to Delhi, Pranjali and her parents visited the boy’s place to confirm the information that they had received. They realized that indeed he had lied to the girl and he had gone away abroad to further his career.
It took her more than 6-7 months to recover from the shock. Then she decided that when the boy had no place for her in his life, it would be only right to move on. Now happily married for 5 years and having an understanding husband, she finds herself lucky.
PR Kanica Sharma says, “Yes, I think everyone at some point of time has faced such situations, where someone has done wrong to you and then you are either left with an option of forgetting or forgiving that person. Like many youngsters I have also faced this moment, when you loved ones cheat on you or just state that they love someone else more than you and leave you abandoned with no choices. It took me a long time to forgive that person and move on, but eventually I realized that forgiveness is a powerful and affirmative part of our being.”
Aparnaa Bajpai, Collywood actress and soon to be launched in Bollywood, is particular not to hold a grudge against anyone. She narrates an incident, “As I said I don’t hold a grudge against anyone, so there isn’t anything grave and I let things go. But if I have to think about one particular incident, then it was way back in college, when one of my very close friends, hid her double relationship, thinking I might judge her. I remained angry with her for the longest time. (smiles) But later I let go of it. We are friends now.”
Forgiving Helps: Carrying a chip on your shoulder only increases the burden on you. Aparnaa says, “I think time heals everything, so it did to our friendship also. It was only later I realized that no one is perfect. Neither she nor am I and everyone should be given the liberty to make mistakes because to err is human. And above all- to each his own; we have no right to judge anyone or anyone’s life. Keeping trivial issues in heart won’t help solve the problem. What will really solve the problem is to let go. It only gives you peace of mind. Besides you only live once! Don’t regret later.”
Kanica agrees, “I honestly feel that forgiving the person will make them realize how much you care and how much you love them. I believe that life is too short to hold grudges or hate towards anyone. You can cheat on me today; I can forgive you and be dead to tomorrow. Who knows what is in store for us? All we know is there definitely is something. Yes, I think when you forgive a person with all your heart and decide to move on; it somewhere helps you to grow as a person. In my opinion, we need to let go of grudges and bitterness to give way to compassion, kindness and peace in our life. Also, I think that once you forgive, you remove the victim tag that you are labeled with. There is a sense of relief and respite in your soul. For me it’s a gift that I gave myself.”
Finally, I would like to quote a friend of mine. She asked me something for which I did not have any answer. She asked, “If someone close to you continues to make the same mistake again and again despite being forgiven?”
This article was first published in Eve’s Times. Reproduced here with the permission of the editor, Swati Amar.